Dog Fur, Perspective and a little Practice.
December 22, 2022 4 min read/listen
Last week, I posted a video on Instagram and Facebook where I'm sharing the impact my recent 30-day Women's Journal program had on one of the women, and how she shared it was changing the way she was experiencing her days. In that video, I'm standing on the beach, it's cold and my hand holding the phone is freezing from the wind, which was strong.
You can tell by seeing my breath and the blowing of the trim on my hood of my jacket. Speaking of the trim on my hood... the other day, a woman left a comment to my video. She wrote, “Maybe don't wear a hood trimmed with dog fur if you want people to see you having any compassion at all.” Oof.
WHAT? Dog fur? I would never. It's not real. It's a synthetic trim. Uh oh. This is what happens when you put your genuine self out in the world, right? Well, maybe. I mean, it's true, if you're sharing yourself and your offers out there, you are vulnerable to a whole kaleidoscope of perspectives and opinions. That's the risk you take. That's the risk I so far have been willing to take.
But let me just address that reactivity that came up in me. I could feel myself want to defend myself. “Hey, I am compassionate. How could she say that about me?” I could hear myself thinking, “Doesn't she know me?” Well, of course she doesn't know me and I don't know her. And this is what stopped me.
This is where I paused, remembering that it's not personal. Only I will make it personal if I let it. What happened here? The facts versus my personal perspective was that someone made an assumption about me and my clothing and had something to say about it. And I had a choice: I could take it personally and respond defensively, or I could do what I have been in the practice of.
And when I say I'm in the practice, I mean I fall a lot. I get up and I fall and I get up again. I have been in the practice of seeing how else I can perceive a situation or a person. I've been playing around in what else could be possible, but also what else feels better for me to perceive.
She is advocating for animals. I like that. She is coming from where she is and I can respect that. I messaged her back and I let her know that it was synthetic and that I hope that offered her some ease. Why am I telling you this story, and why am I talking about me playing around with different perspectives?
Well, because we are entering a time where there can be a lot of emotional charge - assumptions, judgments, anxiety, overwhelm. That's one perspective for this time of year. Another is that we can choose to see that everyone is doing the best they can with where they are and with what they've got. You've heard that before, yes? When I remind myself of that, it discharges that energy that wants to pull me towards taking things personally.
I'm not perfect at it. But like I said, I’m in the practice. And I guess I want to encourage you to choose the perspective that feels better in your body, in your heart, and in your mind because how you feel and how you care for yourself and how you think matters.
For me, I want to feel better. I want to share my messages and my offerings with people, and for those it resonates with, great! And for those it doesn't, that's okay. So as we head into this holiday time, your practice may be a quiet one of checking in on your perceptions. Is there another way I could perceive this situation or this person that could feel better in me, helped me stay calm, help me feel more safe, help me feel more grounded?
Remember, we're just playing here. We're trying on something new. Who knows? You might actually find this kind of play with perceptions and perspective. Pretty darn freeing. I know I do.
I wish you a safe, playful, calm holiday. And please make sure you take some time to connect with you and your sweet, gentle, earnest heart.
Happy holidays to you and to yours.
Jenn
I'm Jenn. I'm a professional actor, writer and life coach. I help people discover how truly accessible and powerful loving ourselves is for our life and for living that life with compassion. We are all in this together. If you want to talk to me about my coaching or any of my offers, just reach out. I'm here.
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